How do I tell someone I’ve been with for three years that I’m not in love with them any more? Or that maybe I never was?

Dan & Caroline December 31, 2012
How do I tell someone I’ve been with for three years that I’m not in love with them any more? Or that maybe I never was?

Dan says

“Build a bridge and get over yourself. Stop being so fucking needy and let them go. People change and it’s ridiculous to think that everyone will grow along with you. Now get your ass off of Friendbook and go break up already. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but every day you live with dishonesty is another day you take away from both yourself and that person from living more authentic, happy and loving lives.”

Caroline says

“Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth! The one of the most important things I have learned about relationships is that if you are with someone who you are not in love with, you are not being honest. Not honest with them or yourself. And you are afraid. You are afraid of hurting their feelings, of being alone and asking for and knowing that you deserve what you really want.

The problem is that you end up hurting the person more by having a half-assed relationship with them. You cheat them out of meeting someone who would be in-love with them. You think you are being nice by not saying how you really feel but you’re not. You are actually being a selfish wimp.

I know it’s scary to be totally honest about how you feel but it is the most empowered thing you can do. It may be hard at the time, and the other person may get upset but afterwards you will feel incredible. By closing the door on that relationship, you open the door for something amazing – for yourself and the person you end things with.”