I keep trying to break up with my boyfriend but he’s avoiding me. The longer I leave it, the more doubts that I’m making the right decision. I’m pretty sure he knows it’s coming. What should I do?

Dan & Caroline December 24, 2012
I keep trying to break up with my boyfriend but he’s avoiding me. The longer I leave it, the more doubts that I’m making the right decision. I’m pretty sure he knows it’s coming. What should I do?

Caroline says

“If he is avoiding you so much you can’t even meet up to break up with him, I think that answers your question that you are making the right choice. If you are not ready to break up, just wait. When you don’t know what to do, do nothing. If you do decide that breaking up is the right thing to do, there are several ways to do it. I personally believe that sometimes an email is the best way to break up with someone. It gives you a chance to say everything you need to say in a clear and calm way without getting upset. If you do break up in person, my advice is to do it at their place, in the car or somewhere private.

A break up can be a nightmare if you do it at your place and they become hysterical and won’t leave or at a restaurant and the other person makes a scene. Which ever way you do it, be kind, clear and honest. It is a huge relief when you end something that’s not working to make room for a relationship that meets your needs and makes you happy. Deep down you know when a relationship is not right and it’s holding both of you back from finding one that is.”

Dan says

“Breakups are always tough. I feel your pain! I think subconsciously or consciously he knows it’s coming if he’s been avoiding you like the plague. Is there ever a “right” time to tell someone you don’t want play the lets get naked game with them anymore? No. If you are actually unsure, then give yourself the time and space to be unsure.

The moment will come when you are sure and should you decide you do want to break up then definitely do it in a private place where you have the option to leave. If you are living together I’d suggest having somewhere else to go to organized beforehand so it’s definite and you’re not in one of those awkward situations for the next month living with the ex trying to find a new place to live. If it’s not right, the most loving thing you can do for that person is to let them go so that they can find someone who is.”