I met this guy I really like and we went out a few times but now he never seems to have time to see me. We will catch up for the movies or a coffee butI always have to instigate it. He chats with me on Facebook and texts me and seems to like me.

Dan & Caroline December 13, 2012
I met this guy I really like and we went out a few times but now he never seems to have time to see me. We will catch up for the movies or a coffee butI always have to instigate it. He chats with me on Facebook and texts me and seems to like me.

He says he’s not in the right space for a relationship but he’s 29, has a good job and owns his own house. We have all the same interests and I know we would be good together, what do I say to get him to get over his fear of commitment?
Dan says

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he’s just not that into you. I have two trains of thought on this. One, when guys meet someone they are so into, that “not looking/ready/wanting/up for/in the right space for a relationship” talk goes right out the door. Second, when guys are actually “ready” for a relationship. Then they will go out and find one.If he’s not ready for a relationship, then you are hanging on in the hope that he will change his mind just for you. Don’t. Move on, and if he really is into you he’ll step up and do what he can to make things work with you.”

Caroline says

“Honey, honey, honey! What are you doing putting up with that crap! When a man says he’s not in the right space for a relationship, he means it. Men don’t play hard to get, if they like you – they make an effort to see you. If you are chasing a man, you are acting like a man and men get turned off and run the other way. You need to cut your losses and find a man that makes an effort to spend time with you. Whenever you have
to chase a man, it normally ends with us feeling like shit about ourselves and ashamed of how it all turned out.Check out the relationship coach Rori Raye’s programs. This woman knows her shit about how to interact in relationships and transformed the way I relate to men. We are not born knowing this stuff and it is important to learn as much as possible about how to create happy relationships.
I also really recommend Harville Hendrix’s books on relationships too. You deserve better than a man who doesn’t make an effort. Now go out and find him!”

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