I met this guy recently who I fell head over heels for and everything was great in the beginning but now he seems to be losing interest. How can I hang on to him?

Dan & Caroline October 15, 2012
I met this guy recently who I fell head over heels for and everything was great in the beginning but now he seems to be losing interest. How can I hang on to him?

Caroline says

“I hate to say it hon, but you are probably too available. I think we commit too quickly and then there is no challenge for the man. I believe you should keep your options open until the relationship is looking serious. Stay connected with your friends and socialize with other singles as much as possible. Don’t worry about hanging on to him, have as much fun living your life and he will be trying to hang on to you.Don’t be so available and lean back from your relationship – let him pursue you. This is a mistake I have made time and time again, when I really like someone – I am totally honest and vulnerable in my feelings for them and I drop everyone else. Before the guy has proven that he deserves me without competition. Continue to date other men, you are an amazing woman who deserves a man who appreciates that. As my friend Daniel says, “You’ve gotta put your pussy on a pedestal, men should earn the right to reach the pedestal and earn the right to stay there.”If he isn’t treating you with the respect you deserve, downgrade his status and get back in the game. He may come to the party or he may not, but you will be having fun and finding lots of options in the meantime.”

Dan says

“Unless you are really displaying some super destructive negative behavior, you should never EVER have to change yourself for someone else to be happy with having you in their life. I would be going in the opposite direction and focus on letting more of your true essence shine. If you have to be someone you’re not for someone else to keep their interest in you, it’s time to set sail and find fairer shores.That said, from an attraction, push/pull, magnetic energy point of view right now he’s that all elusive mouse and you’re the cat trying to catch him. Far be it for me to advocate this kind of behavior but attraction is ancient neanderthal bitch at the best of times, and because of that, it can be re-synthesized. Shift that energy, go get busy doing other cool things that you love, don’t initiate contact ever for the next while until the dynamics change and go get being happy and fun without him. If he’s really into you he will come chasing back like a moth to a flame. If he’s not, that’s awesome too because you’ve just figured out that there’s one less person to test and you’re one step closer to finding someone that really appreciates everything you have to offer. Just as you are. Imperfections and all :-)