I’ve never been able to have a vaginal orgasm and starting to think maybe I’m just broken. What should I do?

Dan & Caroline August 13, 2012
I’ve never been able to have a vaginal orgasm and starting to think maybe I’m just broken. What should I do?

Caroline says

“Ah, the mythical vaginal orgasm. It’s right up there with unicorns and Santa Claus. Some women can orgasm thru only vaginal penetration, but they are far and few between. Nature played a dirty trick on us women by placing the clitoris outside the vagina. Men think that since penetration feels so good for them it must feel as good for us. Wrong! Expecting a woman to orgasm thru penetration alone is like expecting a man to come by only touching his balls and the base of his penis. Some men can do it, but not many.I remember having a boyfriend who became frustrated with me since I needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I talked to a gay male friend of mine about it and he was outraged. He said that’s ridiculous! That when two men were together they both made sure that their dicks were stimulated. If a man is being penetrated, he plays with his dick since it makes it feel even better. He said, your clit is your dick! Of course you need to touch it to have an orgasm. So, you are not broken, you just need to be ok with playing with your dick.”

Dan says

“What C said. As a guy, I’ve experienced partners on all sides of the coin and my observation is that if you’re not comfortable and in touch with your own body than this can hinder you from being able to orgasm in any way shape or form. Make time to have a relationship with your own body and learn to pleasure yourself regardless of a partner.It takes on average 4 minutes for woman to orgasm through self stimulation versus 10 – 20 minutes with a partner and research suggests only 30% of woman can orgasm through intercourse alone. Another little known piece of research via sociologist, Michel Bozon is that ‘vaginal penetration orgasms’ are more difficult to achieve in the beginning of a relationship but become easier after 5 – 10 years of being together.”