My girlfriend of six years just broke up with me and already has a new boyfriend. I’m so cut, and feel like I’m losing and she’s winning. I don’t want her to win, how can I get over her and move on?

Dan & Caroline July 9, 2012
My girlfriend of six years just broke up with me and already has a new boyfriend. I’m so cut, and feel like I’m losing and she’s winning. I don’t want her to win, how can I get over her and move on?

Dan says

“dude Dude DUDE!! Not quite sure where to begin? But here goes… anyone that compares their relationship to a race comprising of a winner and loser, possibly where things started going a little pear shaped eh buddy? I’m gonna stab in the dark here, but chance’s are you have your own business, at the top of your game, high performer, EGO the size of a small town yeah? I understand it hurts, and your ego’s taken a bit of a bruising but if I can say anything to you it’s take some time out for yourself, let yourself feel the loss, the sadness the pain. I mean really experience it. Sure you can do what you always do and go command and conquer, but will you have learned anything from the experience? Take some time to get to a point where you’re happy for her and her new life, and where you realize that this was the best thing for the both of you because of these things ____________ . Then when you do meet someone new, you’ll have let go of your anger and be able to start something new from a place of awesomeness rather than that thing you call an ego.”

Caroline says

“Aww honey, that would really hurt. Just remember that love is not a race and you need
sometime to process this change in your life. You will experience the stages of grief several times, (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) the key to moving thru them quickly is to allow yourself to really experience each emotion when you feel them. They say that a negative emotion will pass in two minutes if you drop into and be present with it. E-motion. They need to move in order to shift.So once you’ve done that, imagine every negative aspect about your girlfriend. If she was a loud eater, had acne on her ass, whatever. Then play those memories in a loop, each one after the other. Use your imagination and add images of her with a horrible vaginal infection, one so bad it would make your dick fall off if you had sex with her. You want to create negative associations with her so your subconscious keeps you from thinking about her. You don’t fantasize about a food that gave you food poisoning, the first alcohol that you got really sick on or a crazy ex that was a nightmare to get rid of. We move away from pain and towards pleasure. You want to create the same negative associations with her so you think about nicer things like that hot girl that just walked by.

Just trust that she has done you a favor and there is someone out there 10 times more perfect for you. Get out in the world and connect with the people around you, amazing people are everywhere – you just need to stop thinking about the past and have a look around.”